Today's weight was 213.2, down 2.6 pounds from yesterday. I have lost almost 36 pounds since the beginning of the fast.
Physically I am still quite weak but feeling much better than yesterday. I still have to rest plenty but I am managing quite well, considering. Even though the massage was yesterday morning I am still experiencing the benefits of it. Even my toes were feeling better, at least until I went out in the cold again.
We have another trial looming today. There is a supposed snow and ice storm coming that will last at least 2 days. If my husband does not go in to work, he will probably lose his job. He accrued a bunch of points due to the last bad storm that we had, mainly through no fault of his own. We went to prayer and it looks like he will be staying in town with a relative of ours, about two miles from his workplace. I am so thankful for the Lord's provision!
Emotionally I am quite touchy and I really need the Lord's help in that area today.
Nine days to go!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Day 30/40
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places]. - Ephesians 6:12
Today's weight was 215.8, down one pound from yesterday.
Yesterday turned out okay. We ended up going to the going away party, but we only stayed for about half an hour or so. I was feeling queasy, the baby was cranky, and that was about the time that they started serving food.
I'm not sure how to describe what happened to me this morning. I went to bed at an okay hour, but I really was feeling too tired to get up. I got up to turn off the alarm clock and I felt like I was going to pass out. I guess I stood up too quickly when I got out of bed. I managed to get back in bed and realized that I was not feeling well. To make matters worse, both of my hands were incredibly numb and I could not get them to stop from tingling. To make matters worse, this was Sunday morning and I needed to teach Sunday school.
I managed to call Jason into the bedroom and I told him what was going on and asked him to call our pastor. Before he did that, he prayed for me and then he called the pastor. I had him call because I was not able to hold the phone.
The pastor wanted to talk to me so Jason held the phone for me. (I am in my 30s and I have never felt this helpless in my life.)
After we finished praying, he told Jason to massage me in order to get my circulation going again and to break up the toxins in my muscles.
While I was being massaged I talked to the Lord. I reasoned with him that I could probably make it to church okay, but I wasn't sure about being able to teach. The Lord said to me, "Are you going to rely on your flesh, or are you going to rely on me?" When he asked me that question, I wept. I obviously have struggled with relying on myself and not enough on the Lord. During this fast I have learned more and more that I have to rely on him for everything.
After the massage I felt well enough to get out of bed but was still quite weak. I did go to church but I had my husband drive me instead of doing my usual church bus route.
We had an awesome Sunday school class. We felt the Lord's presence during our song service and the kids really got into the lesson. It was the story of the widow and the vessel of oil.
I also went to the evening service. I had several people who were not aware of my fast that asked me to pray for them. The pastor requested prayer for my husband and me during this last part of the fast.
I am thankful for how the Lord has helped me so far during this fast. I have physically been able to do most of my duties, for the most part. I know that Satan will battle me during this last few days. But I am going to keep hiding in Jesus, no matter what.
Today's weight was 215.8, down one pound from yesterday.
Yesterday turned out okay. We ended up going to the going away party, but we only stayed for about half an hour or so. I was feeling queasy, the baby was cranky, and that was about the time that they started serving food.
I'm not sure how to describe what happened to me this morning. I went to bed at an okay hour, but I really was feeling too tired to get up. I got up to turn off the alarm clock and I felt like I was going to pass out. I guess I stood up too quickly when I got out of bed. I managed to get back in bed and realized that I was not feeling well. To make matters worse, both of my hands were incredibly numb and I could not get them to stop from tingling. To make matters worse, this was Sunday morning and I needed to teach Sunday school.
I managed to call Jason into the bedroom and I told him what was going on and asked him to call our pastor. Before he did that, he prayed for me and then he called the pastor. I had him call because I was not able to hold the phone.
The pastor wanted to talk to me so Jason held the phone for me. (I am in my 30s and I have never felt this helpless in my life.)
After we finished praying, he told Jason to massage me in order to get my circulation going again and to break up the toxins in my muscles.
While I was being massaged I talked to the Lord. I reasoned with him that I could probably make it to church okay, but I wasn't sure about being able to teach. The Lord said to me, "Are you going to rely on your flesh, or are you going to rely on me?" When he asked me that question, I wept. I obviously have struggled with relying on myself and not enough on the Lord. During this fast I have learned more and more that I have to rely on him for everything.
After the massage I felt well enough to get out of bed but was still quite weak. I did go to church but I had my husband drive me instead of doing my usual church bus route.
We had an awesome Sunday school class. We felt the Lord's presence during our song service and the kids really got into the lesson. It was the story of the widow and the vessel of oil.
I also went to the evening service. I had several people who were not aware of my fast that asked me to pray for them. The pastor requested prayer for my husband and me during this last part of the fast.
I am thankful for how the Lord has helped me so far during this fast. I have physically been able to do most of my duties, for the most part. I know that Satan will battle me during this last few days. But I am going to keep hiding in Jesus, no matter what.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Day 29/40
Today's weight was 216.8, down 1.4 pounds since yesterday.
Yesterday I was feeling nauseated again. I kind of just pushed through it, and towards late afternoon it disappeared somewhat.
I had to run some errands and it forced me to be out in the cold. By the time I came home, my feet were freezing and the big toe on my left foot was throbbing with pain again. It was nearly impossible to get around and walk so I had to soak my feet yet again. This time the water was merely lukewarm, but to my frozen toes it felt like a hot bath. I am thankful to my pastor for his suggestion, or it would make things much for difficult for me, dealing with painful, frozen feet.
I want to praise the Lord for how he has helped my husband with the trials at his workplace. He still has his job and he seems to be doing okay. I thank the Lord for being our source for everything and I want him to be my first resource for everything, not merely my last resort.
Tonight there is a going away party for one of our friends who is going on a long military deployment. I debated whether or not I should go, because of the food, but I know they would have their feelings hurt if we did not attend. And we really want to go, because we really care about this family. Praying it all goes well. Only 11 more days to go til I break the fast!
Yesterday I was feeling nauseated again. I kind of just pushed through it, and towards late afternoon it disappeared somewhat.
I had to run some errands and it forced me to be out in the cold. By the time I came home, my feet were freezing and the big toe on my left foot was throbbing with pain again. It was nearly impossible to get around and walk so I had to soak my feet yet again. This time the water was merely lukewarm, but to my frozen toes it felt like a hot bath. I am thankful to my pastor for his suggestion, or it would make things much for difficult for me, dealing with painful, frozen feet.
I want to praise the Lord for how he has helped my husband with the trials at his workplace. He still has his job and he seems to be doing okay. I thank the Lord for being our source for everything and I want him to be my first resource for everything, not merely my last resort.
Tonight there is a going away party for one of our friends who is going on a long military deployment. I debated whether or not I should go, because of the food, but I know they would have their feelings hurt if we did not attend. And we really want to go, because we really care about this family. Praying it all goes well. Only 11 more days to go til I break the fast!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Day 28/40
Today's weight was 218.2, down 1 pound from yesterday.
Yesterday the nausea returned in the afternoon. I laid down for awhile and it went away. I think it is still more candida die-off. Die off is no fun, but I can't wait until I'm totally healthy again.
Yesterday we had another spiritual battle at Jason's work. I know the Lord is in control, but it sure does make things difficult sometimes.
I am seeing more answers to prayer. It is so awesome to trust in the Lord and to watch him work it all out.
The toes on my left foot got very cold again yesterday. I put them in some warm water to warm them up a bit and it felt like I had put my feet in hot molten lava. But thanks to prayer and the water, they did warm up and I was no longer in pain.
Last night we had an awesome church service and also an altar service. We had four young people seeking at the altar, one of which was my son. It was very powerful and I am claiming many spiritual victories in the name of Jesus.
Today I have experienced more nausea. I wish I could lie down but I have too much to do at the moment. For right now, I am doing the best that I can.
Yesterday the nausea returned in the afternoon. I laid down for awhile and it went away. I think it is still more candida die-off. Die off is no fun, but I can't wait until I'm totally healthy again.
Yesterday we had another spiritual battle at Jason's work. I know the Lord is in control, but it sure does make things difficult sometimes.
I am seeing more answers to prayer. It is so awesome to trust in the Lord and to watch him work it all out.
The toes on my left foot got very cold again yesterday. I put them in some warm water to warm them up a bit and it felt like I had put my feet in hot molten lava. But thanks to prayer and the water, they did warm up and I was no longer in pain.
Last night we had an awesome church service and also an altar service. We had four young people seeking at the altar, one of which was my son. It was very powerful and I am claiming many spiritual victories in the name of Jesus.
Today I have experienced more nausea. I wish I could lie down but I have too much to do at the moment. For right now, I am doing the best that I can.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day 27/40
Today's weight was 219.2, which is almost a 30 pound loss since the fast started. It is also up 1.8 pounds since yesterday, but I question yesterday's reading.
13 days left until it's time to break the fast. I am already preparing myself for the end of the fast. I know it's a good idea to ease back into eating, so I have prayerfully sought for direction.
13 days left until it's time to break the fast. I am already preparing myself for the end of the fast. I know it's a good idea to ease back into eating, so I have prayerfully sought for direction.
Day 26/40
Today's weight was 217.4, down 3 pounds from yesterday. My scale was all over the place, so this might not be entirely accurate. I decided to take the lowest out of all the readings.
Well our hunches about my husband's work situation were correct. I won't go into detail but he was falsely accused and attacked for about half an hour and felt very strongly like his employment was in jeopardy. I am thankful for the urgings of the holy spirit and for the warring angels that the Lord sends to fight our spiritual battles.
Physically I was feeling badly again. Extremely nauseated with a lot of fatigue.
I am reminded of this chorus that we often sing:
There's more with us than be with them
We're on the winning side!
With banners unfurled
We'll tell the whole world
That Jesus is captain and guide.
There's none to fear when He is near
Whatever the conflict may be
We'll never give in
In this fight against sin
In Christ there's victory!
Well our hunches about my husband's work situation were correct. I won't go into detail but he was falsely accused and attacked for about half an hour and felt very strongly like his employment was in jeopardy. I am thankful for the urgings of the holy spirit and for the warring angels that the Lord sends to fight our spiritual battles.
Physically I was feeling badly again. Extremely nauseated with a lot of fatigue.
I am reminded of this chorus that we often sing:
There's more with us than be with them
We're on the winning side!
With banners unfurled
We'll tell the whole world
That Jesus is captain and guide.
There's none to fear when He is near
Whatever the conflict may be
We'll never give in
In this fight against sin
In Christ there's victory!
Day 25/40
Today's weight was 220.4, down .4 pounds from yesterday.
I woke up in the morning with a very strong burden for my husband. I pray for him every morning when he goes to work, and today was no exception. However, when I finished praying the burden did not go away. I would pray for him and then for someone else and the feeling did not lift. This went on for about an hour until I finally went back to sleep.
I talked to my husband later in the day and he told me he was also feeling a strong burden that day as well, and actually had the Lord to tell him to immediately stop what he was doing, and to pray. I asked several others to pray for him as well. We have a feeling that the situation is job related.
I had a visitor today, a young lady from my church who I had been working with but have not seen for awhile since she moved out of my neighborhood. The nausea returned this afternoon and I was lying down when she appeared. I explained my fasting to her, much to her alarm. Then I began to testify about all of the wonderful things that have occured since the fast had started. I also reminded her that if Jesus could do it, then why couldn't we?
I woke up in the morning with a very strong burden for my husband. I pray for him every morning when he goes to work, and today was no exception. However, when I finished praying the burden did not go away. I would pray for him and then for someone else and the feeling did not lift. This went on for about an hour until I finally went back to sleep.
I talked to my husband later in the day and he told me he was also feeling a strong burden that day as well, and actually had the Lord to tell him to immediately stop what he was doing, and to pray. I asked several others to pray for him as well. We have a feeling that the situation is job related.
I had a visitor today, a young lady from my church who I had been working with but have not seen for awhile since she moved out of my neighborhood. The nausea returned this afternoon and I was lying down when she appeared. I explained my fasting to her, much to her alarm. Then I began to testify about all of the wonderful things that have occured since the fast had started. I also reminded her that if Jesus could do it, then why couldn't we?
Day 24/40
Today's weight was 220.8, down .8 pounds from yesterday.
16 days left til I can eat again! I am so excited!
Today I finally got bored with drinking water. I have survived on nothing but water for the past 24 days. I will probably have to go out and get some bottled water and change things up a bit.
I felt great today and got a lot accomplished. Sometimes I just marvel at how much energy I have.
16 days left til I can eat again! I am so excited!
Today I finally got bored with drinking water. I have survived on nothing but water for the past 24 days. I will probably have to go out and get some bottled water and change things up a bit.
I felt great today and got a lot accomplished. Sometimes I just marvel at how much energy I have.
Day 23/40
Today's weight was 221.6, down .2 pounds from yesterday.
Today was Sunday but I did not teach Sunday school since the building where I teach was too cold. We only had a handful come out for worship service since the roads were still quite bad.
The message in today's sermon was so on track with some things about which the Lord has been dealing with me. The text was 2 Timothy 2 and was about how we are to be vessels of honor, and how we can dishonor our vessel. Our speech and our attitude are two things that Paul addresses that can make us dishonorable. I have really been praying about this. I don't want my good to be evil spoken of. Again, painful, but necessary.
The afternoon was quite stressful. The baby napped but woke up before I could get any rest and my husband slept all afternoon so he was of no help. The baby got into everything and it was just a very trying ordeal.
I was also experiencing what felt like frost bite in my left big toe. More like the pain one feels when their toes thaw out after being frozen. On the 1 to 10 pain scale, I was feeling about an 8. Talked to my husband about it and we had a bit of an argument. I was also feeling quite emotional. I was feeling so badly physically and emotionally that I didn't even want to go to church that evening.
Since my husband was of no help (I was hoping he would pray with me or talk to the pastor for me since I was unable to talk due to the pain I was in) I shut my bedroom door and prayed and cried out to the Lord. I felt a lot better, although my toe hadn't improved much.
I was very glad that I had gone to church after all. I enjoyed the entire service and it was very encouraging.
After church the pain in my toe started flaring up again. My husband tried calling the pastor but did not immediately get through. We went to prayer and I got a lot of relief afterwards. Our pastor called back and I got to talk to him for awhile, which was very encouraging. He gave me some insight about fasting since he had done water fasting in the past. He also encouraged me to keep up this blog and to document everything that the Lord is doing so that it can be a tool to encourage others who might consider a long water fast in the future.
Today was Sunday but I did not teach Sunday school since the building where I teach was too cold. We only had a handful come out for worship service since the roads were still quite bad.
The message in today's sermon was so on track with some things about which the Lord has been dealing with me. The text was 2 Timothy 2 and was about how we are to be vessels of honor, and how we can dishonor our vessel. Our speech and our attitude are two things that Paul addresses that can make us dishonorable. I have really been praying about this. I don't want my good to be evil spoken of. Again, painful, but necessary.
The afternoon was quite stressful. The baby napped but woke up before I could get any rest and my husband slept all afternoon so he was of no help. The baby got into everything and it was just a very trying ordeal.
I was also experiencing what felt like frost bite in my left big toe. More like the pain one feels when their toes thaw out after being frozen. On the 1 to 10 pain scale, I was feeling about an 8. Talked to my husband about it and we had a bit of an argument. I was also feeling quite emotional. I was feeling so badly physically and emotionally that I didn't even want to go to church that evening.
Since my husband was of no help (I was hoping he would pray with me or talk to the pastor for me since I was unable to talk due to the pain I was in) I shut my bedroom door and prayed and cried out to the Lord. I felt a lot better, although my toe hadn't improved much.
I was very glad that I had gone to church after all. I enjoyed the entire service and it was very encouraging.
After church the pain in my toe started flaring up again. My husband tried calling the pastor but did not immediately get through. We went to prayer and I got a lot of relief afterwards. Our pastor called back and I got to talk to him for awhile, which was very encouraging. He gave me some insight about fasting since he had done water fasting in the past. He also encouraged me to keep up this blog and to document everything that the Lord is doing so that it can be a tool to encourage others who might consider a long water fast in the future.
Day 22/40
Today's weight was 221.8, down 27.2 pounds total.
My husband was supposed to work today, but someone else in management heard that he did not get Friday off for our emergency power outage and they let him take the day off.
Was a very uneventful day. Did a lot of cooking for both today and tomorrow, including a huge pot of chicken soup. It is so funny how I enjoy cooking even though I can't eat.
My husband was supposed to work today, but someone else in management heard that he did not get Friday off for our emergency power outage and they let him take the day off.
Was a very uneventful day. Did a lot of cooking for both today and tomorrow, including a huge pot of chicken soup. It is so funny how I enjoy cooking even though I can't eat.
Day 21/40
Did not weigh today since I was not at home due to our power being out.
It is a bit strange being around other people who are not my immediate family and not eating. You would think it would get easier but it hasn't really.
My mother-in-law is a Christian so she understands the fast so it wasn't too bad.
We did not return until late afternoon. I sure had my work cut out for me when I got home, but it was so nice to be back and to get settled again.
So thankful for the many things that God provides that we take for granted, like electricity and heat and your own home, and family and friends who care.
It is a bit strange being around other people who are not my immediate family and not eating. You would think it would get easier but it hasn't really.
My mother-in-law is a Christian so she understands the fast so it wasn't too bad.
We did not return until late afternoon. I sure had my work cut out for me when I got home, but it was so nice to be back and to get settled again.
So thankful for the many things that God provides that we take for granted, like electricity and heat and your own home, and family and friends who care.
Day 20/40
Today's weight was 223.6, down a whole pound from yesterday.
Day 20! I am halfway done!
Today was a very trying day. I mentioned in yesterday's post how the breakers kept tripping. Well tonight after dinner the main breaker tripped and it stayed off. Not to mention all about the same time my husband's blood sugar took a dive so I was trying to nurse him back to health while in the dark.
We determined that the main breaker was fried so it would have to be replaced. After my husband bounced back to his normal self, he called the power company to disconnect power from the house so we could have the breaker replaced in the morning. He decided he would take a personal day off work to fix the problem. The breaker would not be a large expense, so we were pretty relieved since things are tight right now financially.
Feeling pretty confident that things would be okay, we made arrangements to stay with my mother-in-law. Did I mention that this was the coldest night that we've had all winter and that our house now has no heat to keep the pipes from freezing?
So somewhere along the way, between dealing with the crisis and packing for the kids in the dark, I fell apart. I got very emotional and started sobbing. Then I got very angry. So angry that I wanted to punch something.
I came to the realization through all of this that if I had been eating, I might have turned to food for some kind of comfort during this whole ordeal. But since there is no food, I have had to deal with these intense emotions on my own. I mean, I have to give them to the Lord. Which is what we are supposed to do with them, but so many of us have other coping mechanisms for dealing with crisis that don't involve the Lord, and many of them are very destructive.
This has been a very telling experience for me. I used to be a binge eater, many years ago, before the Lord delivered me. I was not aware that I still had a problem with emotional eating. I know the Lord has helped me, but now I desire complete victory over the matter. I want the Lord to be my first resource when I'm not doing well, and not my last resort.
We ended up at my in-laws, which was not easy with the difficult driving conditions. Unfortunately we had more bad news. My husband called work to see if he could get the day off and they refused. Now I was panicking again. But we called our wonderful pastor and he offered to replace the breaker for us.
Sleep was very fitful, since all four of us were sleeping in the living room, but we were all warm and safe for the night.
Day 20! I am halfway done!
Today was a very trying day. I mentioned in yesterday's post how the breakers kept tripping. Well tonight after dinner the main breaker tripped and it stayed off. Not to mention all about the same time my husband's blood sugar took a dive so I was trying to nurse him back to health while in the dark.
We determined that the main breaker was fried so it would have to be replaced. After my husband bounced back to his normal self, he called the power company to disconnect power from the house so we could have the breaker replaced in the morning. He decided he would take a personal day off work to fix the problem. The breaker would not be a large expense, so we were pretty relieved since things are tight right now financially.
Feeling pretty confident that things would be okay, we made arrangements to stay with my mother-in-law. Did I mention that this was the coldest night that we've had all winter and that our house now has no heat to keep the pipes from freezing?
So somewhere along the way, between dealing with the crisis and packing for the kids in the dark, I fell apart. I got very emotional and started sobbing. Then I got very angry. So angry that I wanted to punch something.
I came to the realization through all of this that if I had been eating, I might have turned to food for some kind of comfort during this whole ordeal. But since there is no food, I have had to deal with these intense emotions on my own. I mean, I have to give them to the Lord. Which is what we are supposed to do with them, but so many of us have other coping mechanisms for dealing with crisis that don't involve the Lord, and many of them are very destructive.
This has been a very telling experience for me. I used to be a binge eater, many years ago, before the Lord delivered me. I was not aware that I still had a problem with emotional eating. I know the Lord has helped me, but now I desire complete victory over the matter. I want the Lord to be my first resource when I'm not doing well, and not my last resort.
We ended up at my in-laws, which was not easy with the difficult driving conditions. Unfortunately we had more bad news. My husband called work to see if he could get the day off and they refused. Now I was panicking again. But we called our wonderful pastor and he offered to replace the breaker for us.
Sleep was very fitful, since all four of us were sleeping in the living room, but we were all warm and safe for the night.
Day 19/40
Today's weight was 224.6, down 1.2 pounds from yesterday, and down 24.4 pounds since the fast started.
Tongue was almost pink this morning. Maybe the candida is finally dying off!
Another trial I have been dealing with this week is my house's circuit breakers keep tripping. Not a good thing to be happening in the middle of winter. Especially when I am usually extremely cold from this fast! I am in a blanket as much as I can, especially when I am sitting down.
Tongue was almost pink this morning. Maybe the candida is finally dying off!
Another trial I have been dealing with this week is my house's circuit breakers keep tripping. Not a good thing to be happening in the middle of winter. Especially when I am usually extremely cold from this fast! I am in a blanket as much as I can, especially when I am sitting down.
Day 18/40
Today's weight was 225.4 down .2 of a pound since yesterday.
I think it is kind of bizarre to see the weight loss pattern during this fast. I try not to worry over it. I guess my body will do what it wants.
I usually inspect my tongue every morning for a white coating before brushing my teeth. My tongue is becoming more and more pink, which is a very good thing.
You never know when or how the enemy will attack. Just today I got kind of impatient thinking about how my fast is just about half over, while for most people in my congregation who are also fasting will be finished in just a couple days. My very wise husband said that it is just Satan trying to discourage you, since he seems to do that when you feel like you are halfway there. While I feel mildly tempted to break the fast after day 21, I will hang in there. In the end, it will be worth it.
Also, my husband's job has been under attack. Twice since the fast started, his job security has been threatened. Our hope and our stay is the Lord, but my, it is a bit unnerving at times to keep pressing on. But we are still pressing. The Lord has always taken care of all of our needs and he has never failed us one time! Praise the Lord!
Another area where I have seen an answer to prayer has to do with the new business that my husband wants to start. Last week I was urged by the Lord for us to take some steps for some training he needs to make himself for successful.
Thanking the Lord for his provision!
I think it is kind of bizarre to see the weight loss pattern during this fast. I try not to worry over it. I guess my body will do what it wants.
I usually inspect my tongue every morning for a white coating before brushing my teeth. My tongue is becoming more and more pink, which is a very good thing.
You never know when or how the enemy will attack. Just today I got kind of impatient thinking about how my fast is just about half over, while for most people in my congregation who are also fasting will be finished in just a couple days. My very wise husband said that it is just Satan trying to discourage you, since he seems to do that when you feel like you are halfway there. While I feel mildly tempted to break the fast after day 21, I will hang in there. In the end, it will be worth it.
Also, my husband's job has been under attack. Twice since the fast started, his job security has been threatened. Our hope and our stay is the Lord, but my, it is a bit unnerving at times to keep pressing on. But we are still pressing. The Lord has always taken care of all of our needs and he has never failed us one time! Praise the Lord!
Another area where I have seen an answer to prayer has to do with the new business that my husband wants to start. Last week I was urged by the Lord for us to take some steps for some training he needs to make himself for successful.
Thanking the Lord for his provision!
Day 17/40
Today's weight was 225.6; no change from yesterday.
I definitely felt better today than I did last week. Last week I experienced fatigue and nausea but this week I have regained some energy and I don't feel sick at all.
I have seen a definite answer to prayer in regard to vacation bible school. I have been praying in earnest over this year's program and have definitely received some guidance from the Lord.
I have also been asking the Lord to change me in some areas of my life and he is revealing some very telling things about me which I had not been able to see. While it is definitely not pleasant- honestly, it has been quite painful! - I want to be conformed more and more to his image every day.
This is one of my most favorite hymns and a constant prayer of mine:
Oh! to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.
Refrain:
Oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
Oh! to be like Thee, full of compassion,
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,
Seeking the wand’ring sinner to find.
Oh! to be like Thee, lowly in spirit,
Holy and harmless, patient and brave;
Meekly enduring cruel reproaches,
Willing to suffer, others to save.
Oh! to be like Thee, Lord, I am coming,
Now to receive th’ anointing divine;
All that I am and have I am bringing,
Lord, from this moment all shall be Thine.
Oh! to be like Thee, while I am pleading,
Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love,
Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling,
Fit me for life and Heaven above.
-Thomas O. Chisholm
I definitely felt better today than I did last week. Last week I experienced fatigue and nausea but this week I have regained some energy and I don't feel sick at all.
I have seen a definite answer to prayer in regard to vacation bible school. I have been praying in earnest over this year's program and have definitely received some guidance from the Lord.
I have also been asking the Lord to change me in some areas of my life and he is revealing some very telling things about me which I had not been able to see. While it is definitely not pleasant- honestly, it has been quite painful! - I want to be conformed more and more to his image every day.
This is one of my most favorite hymns and a constant prayer of mine:
Oh! to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.
Refrain:
Oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
Oh! to be like Thee, full of compassion,
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,
Seeking the wand’ring sinner to find.
Oh! to be like Thee, lowly in spirit,
Holy and harmless, patient and brave;
Meekly enduring cruel reproaches,
Willing to suffer, others to save.
Oh! to be like Thee, Lord, I am coming,
Now to receive th’ anointing divine;
All that I am and have I am bringing,
Lord, from this moment all shall be Thine.
Oh! to be like Thee, while I am pleading,
Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love,
Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling,
Fit me for life and Heaven above.
-Thomas O. Chisholm
Day 16/40
Today's weight was 225.6, down 1.8 pounds from yesterday.
Today was Sunday, so I had to teach Sunday school. I really felt the anointing of the Lord on me when I preached. Yes, I said preached. My class has mixed ages from preschool to 11 years old. I had a lot of kids show up this morning, maybe almost 20. My lesson was on Samuel hearing the prophesy from God about Eli's iniquity and God's judgment on him. My typical lesson turned into an exortation about don't wait too late to get saved. Don't make up all kinds of excuses and give into peer pressure to not do what God wants you to do right now. It was a bit bewildering, but very exciting.
Afterwards, Satan attacked me and accused me all afternoon. Bogus stuff like, they won't come back and their parents will be angry with you. I testified in the evening service about my Sunday school class and his empty, ugly words just faded away! Praise the Lord!
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Revelation 12:11
I am hiding in the shadow of the cross. All the glory and honor goes to Him. I am just a willing servant.
Today was Sunday, so I had to teach Sunday school. I really felt the anointing of the Lord on me when I preached. Yes, I said preached. My class has mixed ages from preschool to 11 years old. I had a lot of kids show up this morning, maybe almost 20. My lesson was on Samuel hearing the prophesy from God about Eli's iniquity and God's judgment on him. My typical lesson turned into an exortation about don't wait too late to get saved. Don't make up all kinds of excuses and give into peer pressure to not do what God wants you to do right now. It was a bit bewildering, but very exciting.
Afterwards, Satan attacked me and accused me all afternoon. Bogus stuff like, they won't come back and their parents will be angry with you. I testified in the evening service about my Sunday school class and his empty, ugly words just faded away! Praise the Lord!
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Revelation 12:11
I am hiding in the shadow of the cross. All the glory and honor goes to Him. I am just a willing servant.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Day 15/40
Today's weight was 227.4, which is up .4 of a pound from yesterday. I wonder how it is possible to gain weight while doing a water fast. My husband thinks it is most likely water weight, but I don't know.
This morning I attended a family baby shower for one of my husband's cousins. It was very informal and held at her mom's house. I was wondering how it was going to go since I was not eating. But since most of my family are Christians and quite a few of them go to my church, it was not quite so difficult. There were a few who did not know about the length or type of fast I am on, since I am trying to keep it as private as possible. So I 'went public' to a few people about my fast, how I was just doing water. But I didn't share how long of a fast it was.
When it came time to eat, it went better than I could've hoped. I got to hold the baby (the shower was held after his birth) and let everyone else eat. It worked out very well.
Then in the evening came the bridal shower, which was very formal. I ended up missing out on the party during the appetizers because I had a phone call that I had to take.
When it came time for the sit down dinner, I discreetly told my husband's aunt (who is a Christian) that I was fasting and so was my pastor's wife (who is also another one of my husband's aunts.) But she was now eating vegetables instead of being solely on water or juice, so she had the salad. I sat content with my goblet of ice water, and again, held the baby while everyone ate. Dessert consisted of beautifully decorated cupcakes. I wrapped mine in a napkin and took it home to my kids.
So all in all, it went well, but it certainly is awkward in social situations since eating is so deeply engrained in our celebrations.
This morning I attended a family baby shower for one of my husband's cousins. It was very informal and held at her mom's house. I was wondering how it was going to go since I was not eating. But since most of my family are Christians and quite a few of them go to my church, it was not quite so difficult. There were a few who did not know about the length or type of fast I am on, since I am trying to keep it as private as possible. So I 'went public' to a few people about my fast, how I was just doing water. But I didn't share how long of a fast it was.
When it came time to eat, it went better than I could've hoped. I got to hold the baby (the shower was held after his birth) and let everyone else eat. It worked out very well.
Then in the evening came the bridal shower, which was very formal. I ended up missing out on the party during the appetizers because I had a phone call that I had to take.
When it came time for the sit down dinner, I discreetly told my husband's aunt (who is a Christian) that I was fasting and so was my pastor's wife (who is also another one of my husband's aunts.) But she was now eating vegetables instead of being solely on water or juice, so she had the salad. I sat content with my goblet of ice water, and again, held the baby while everyone ate. Dessert consisted of beautifully decorated cupcakes. I wrapped mine in a napkin and took it home to my kids.
So all in all, it went well, but it certainly is awkward in social situations since eating is so deeply engrained in our celebrations.
Day 14/40
Today's weight was 227 even, with a loss of 1.2 pounds from yesterday.
I was feeling better today, which I was thankful for, because I had to do my monthly large grocery shopping trip. It was very interesting shopping for groceries while fasting. I really am not having a hard time being around food, for the most part. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I enjoy cooking and love the smell of food. Even being around other people who are eating does not seem to bother me.
Shopping was fine, since I was not really craving anything, it was really easy to stick to my grocery list.
I have a baby shower and a bridal shower to go to tomorrow. I am kind of nervous as to how that will go.
I was feeling better today, which I was thankful for, because I had to do my monthly large grocery shopping trip. It was very interesting shopping for groceries while fasting. I really am not having a hard time being around food, for the most part. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I enjoy cooking and love the smell of food. Even being around other people who are eating does not seem to bother me.
Shopping was fine, since I was not really craving anything, it was really easy to stick to my grocery list.
I have a baby shower and a bridal shower to go to tomorrow. I am kind of nervous as to how that will go.
Day 13/40
Today's weight was 228.2, down 20.8 pounds total, and down 1.6 pounds from yesterday.
Still not feeling well. I am thankful for everyone who is praying for me.
Still not feeling well. I am thankful for everyone who is praying for me.
Day 12/40
Today's weight was 229.8, down a whole pound from yesterday.
I have been very sick this week. I think I am in the middle of a healing crisis. It is all I can do just to keep up my daily tasks as a wife and a mom. I am thankful for my family who is trying to help me out.
I have been very sick this week. I think I am in the middle of a healing crisis. It is all I can do just to keep up my daily tasks as a wife and a mom. I am thankful for my family who is trying to help me out.
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