Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 30/40

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places]. - Ephesians 6:12

Today's weight was 215.8, down one pound from yesterday.

Yesterday turned out okay. We ended up going to the going away party, but we only stayed for about half an hour or so. I was feeling queasy, the baby was cranky, and that was about the time that they started serving food.

I'm not sure how to describe what happened to me this morning. I went to bed at an okay hour, but I really was feeling too tired to get up. I got up to turn off the alarm clock and I felt like I was going to pass out. I guess I stood up too quickly when I got out of bed. I managed to get back in bed and realized that I was not feeling well. To make matters worse, both of my hands were incredibly numb and I could not get them to stop from tingling. To make matters worse, this was Sunday morning and I needed to teach Sunday school.

I managed to call Jason into the bedroom and I told him what was going on and asked him to call our pastor. Before he did that, he prayed for me and then he called the pastor. I had him call because I was not able to hold the phone.

The pastor wanted to talk to me so Jason held the phone for me. (I am in my 30s and I have never felt this helpless in my life.)

After we finished praying, he told Jason to massage me in order to get my circulation going again and to break up the toxins in my muscles.

While I was being massaged I talked to the Lord. I reasoned with him that I could probably make it to church okay, but I wasn't sure about being able to teach. The Lord said to me, "Are you going to rely on your flesh, or are you going to rely on me?" When he asked me that question, I wept.  I obviously have struggled with relying on myself and not enough on the Lord. During this fast I have learned more and more that I have to rely on him for everything.

After the massage I felt well enough to get out of bed but was still quite weak. I did go to church but I had my husband drive me instead of doing my usual church bus route.

We had an awesome Sunday school class. We felt the Lord's presence during our song service and the kids really got into the lesson.  It was the story of the widow and the vessel of oil.

I also went to the evening service. I had several people who were not aware of my fast that asked me to pray for them. The pastor requested prayer for my husband and me during this last part of the fast.

I am thankful for how the Lord has helped me so far during this fast. I have physically been able to do most of my duties, for the most part. I know that Satan will battle me during this last few days. But I am going to keep hiding in Jesus, no matter what.

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